A Question Of Degrees

Great show yesterday kid.
A great show which tackled the last great taboo of our time,'What to do with your compost box?'
Tommy my cat cut the top of his egg with a Syrian scimitar and said,
"Ground breaking stuff. What do you think Mr Coyle should do with his compost box?"
I ripped out the front window, threw it through the back window and yelled,
"Mr Coyle should climb into his compost box, pull some straw in behind him and then get his good friend Joe to hammer on a lid using six inch nails."
"A bit harsh," said Tommy,as he buttered a hot Belgium toasted soldier.
"A bit harsh my uncle Pedro's burro!" I cried. "Then, Mr Coyle, still in the box, should be floated out to sea to deter Somalian pirates."
"I can see where you're coming from," said Tommy,"and you should get back there as soon as possible before the men with the white coats come looking for you."
"Bulgarian bananas!" I roared,as I ran upstairs and rolled under the bed. As a child I always preferred the lower bunk.
"Soon ol' four o'clock rolled around.
You finally lay your burden down."
"NADINE! honey is that you?" I yelled to the girl across the street.
"NADINE! honey is that you?"
"That's not Nadine Coyle," said Tubby Nolan,coming out from an "Eat your weight in blubber for a tenner" joint.
"Hey,Tubby, my main man," I said. "what's up? What's happening? You never come back to the projects no more."
"I'm trying to leave my past behind," said Tubby.
"The word in the hood is that Queen's University are thinking of bestowing a degree on me."
"Well, well,well," I said. "Little Tubby Nolan all grown up and doing the town.
You think the man at Queen's university is going to waste a degree on YOU?
FOOL! The only degree you gonna' get,FOOL,is the third degree from Matt Baggott and all the boys and girls at the PSNI."
THE PSNI, they can really make you cry
They got big rubber hoses and the old pepper spray
They will probe you like aliens, 'till night turns to day
Down at the ol' PSNI
The old PSNI.
I love them old PSNI.
NOW CONTAINING 30% CATHOLICS.