A Difference of Authorship.

Great shows last week kid
On Friday Tommy my cat and I jived along to the Commitments like one cool cat and one old rat bag. Tommy stopped mid-jive and yelled,
"Hey man, stall the wedding! What's the difference between the Commitments and the Commandments?"
"The Commandments were written by God," I said,"and the Commitments were written by Roddy Doyle."
"So it's just a difference of authorship?" said Tommy.
"Let me add a small caveat," I replied,picking up a little pair of roncelled, plywood, sugar tongs. "The Commitments were written by Roddy Doyle and directed by Alan Parker."
Tommy stood there wearing 37 petticoats under his frock, screwed up his little face like Bronagh Gallagher,the Etta James of Derry and said,
"Who directs the Commandments then?"
"Any headbanger with a big mouth and a bible," I replied non-ambiguously.
A few seconds later I yelled,
"Now let's Rock. I feela James Brown moment coming on. I'm going to boogie on down and bring it on home.".
Tommy ran for the po,but alas,too late!
Not wishing to be seen as too eager I never applied for the job of chief stoker at Black and Whites foundry. Needless to say, when the job went to Mrs Aruba Cuba from Rodent Street I was fit to be tied.
"What kind of world do we live in," I roared,"where one has to apply for a job to have any chance of getting it?"
I picked up my BT cordless,toothless,cross community phone to give the Ombudsman 1.5% of my mind. His wife said, he was out in the garden kicking next door's cat because he never applied for the job EITHER!
"VENT! yelled Tommy.
"VENT! For too long you' been toting that 'ol bale of cotton behind you.
I hear the Freedom train a'coming!" roared Tommy.
"Oh Lord," screamed Tommy,"lead us to the water and make us drink! Let me sit on the bonnet of the bus.OH LORD!" screamed Tommy. "Someone knocking on my door,it's ol' man trouble!"
"I wasn't always like this!" I yelled. "I used to live on cloud nine and what happened?"
"They took it away on the back of a lorry in the dead of night," shrieked Tommy.
"Jim Rodgers said it was a traffic hazard."
"Please take me away," I roared. "I can't live in a world without love."
Tommy threw back his outraged,feline head,stood there like Etta James and roared,
"I'D RATHER GO BLIND!"
I threw a big, black blanket over the soulful Tommy and went to my bed.
You CAN get too much of a bad thing!