An Audio Masterpiece

Great show yesterday kid.
"The Gerry show," said Tommy my cat,"runs with the precision of a Swiss watch or a small,lime-green detonator for a hydrogen bomb. The Gerry show," said Tommy,"is a jigsaw made up from several different but highly important interlocking pieces.
Each piece of the jigsaw is nothing on its own, but when fitted together they make up an audio masterpiece, a listening experience and a good place to find a lost dog or a rare petrol can."
I stood at the sink cleaning my tooth with a Brillo pad and cried,
"And music, don't forget the music, music like what you will never hear in your darkest nightmares."
"And another thing," cried Tommy,"the Gerry show comes with detachable oracle in the likeness of Jordie Tuft."
"If Jordie can't cure you, you haven't got it," I said. "Many an auld buck goat owes its virility to old Jordie. From aardvarks to zebras, from ponies to piles Jordie Tuft is the must see guy."
"AND, never forget," said Tommy,"old Jordie was first with product placement with regard to Jeyes Fluid."
"What's that horrible noise out in the street?" I yelled.
I ran out and saw a herd of unseated Fianna Fail TDs looking for free orange juice and prescriptions. One of the wild-eyed TDs saw me and roared,
"DETENTE Missus, DETENTE!"
"DEPART!" I yelled. "DEPART and take your empty piggy bank with you!"
"That settled his hash," giggled Tommy,as he patted a gnome on the head,had a slash in the rose bed and stole a bottle of milk from next door to make a nice cup of tea.
I envy the way Tommy can multi-task.
POST SCRIPT
The word in the hood is that Mark Carruthers has been invited to the royal wedding.
I predict MAYHEM in the Newsline office!