Paying Homage To All The Greats.

Great show yesterday Kid. Tommy my cat spat a brandy ball out of his mouth which decapitated the Child of Prague statue and said,
"That great show was not put on willy-nilly or indeed, nilly-willy. There was structure in that show. That great show showed fore-sight, fore-thought and a vast knowledge of the works of Bruce Forsyth."
I stood there with a cage full of canaries clutched between my knees and said,
"Did you notice the homage Gerry paid to all the greats of radio, TV and film?"
"Does a bear perspire in the woods?" said Tommy. "Of course I noticed. The cliff hanger before the eleven o'clock news was pure Hitchcockian. People were on the edge of their seats, wondering if Gerry would return. Then there was the Orson Welles tribute when Mr Coyle yelled,
"Shut that big ornate gate!"
I pulled a blue-bellied, Egyptian earwig from out of my ear,changed its little nappy,stuck it back in my lug hole and said,
"Ah yes!--No--No! - don't-missus. But did you pick up on the David Lean moment?"
Tommy sat there, shovelling wax out of his ear with the coal shovel and said,
"David Lean? No. I missed that. Please explain, in graphic detail the David Lean homage."
I grabbed Tommy under my oxter and ran for the shipyard. Once there I put Tommy in the dock and said,
"Tommy cat,I wish you to cast your mind back to exactly twenty seven and a half minutes past eleven o'clock this morning."
"Tommy shut his eyes and yelled-"Done!"
"Now Tommy cat," I thundered, "I want you to tell my Lud what you were doing at exactly twenty seven and a half minutes past eleven this morning."
Tommy blushed bright red and cried,
"My Lud, I was listening to the Gerry Anderson show."
"And what did you hear Tommy cat?" I yelled. "What did you hear, as you gave full rein to your unspeakable perversions, by listening to the Gerry Anderson show?"
"I heard-music, my Lud," said Tommy. "I heard-banter."
"Tommy cat!" I roared. "I put it to you. What else did you hear?"
"Cor, stone the crows my Lud," said Tommy. "I heard a patter. I heard the patter of rickety feet."
"My Lud!" I yelled. "My lovely, lovely Lud. What the feline heard, was Mr Coyle running through the studio,with his fur-lined anorak billowing out behind him, like Lawrence of Arabia, which was directed by David Lean."
"Clear the court!" roared my Lud. "Sue Barker and I are going to play tennis."
"CURSE YOU!" yelled Tommy. "You think you have beaten me,but I have an elbow up my sleeve. My father knew a man, who knew a man, who yelled,
"Ready when you are Mr De-Mille!".
"Cobblers! I said. "That would be the greatest story ever told."