BIG WHEEL KEEPS ON TURNING., BUT NOT FOR MUCH LONGER.

Great shows last week Kid. Five great shows that can be bought individually or as a cellophaned pack of five from the BBC barrow in Ann Street. But do shout out your order.Old Walter Love is suffering most horribly from sax in the ears. Listening to too much jazz music will do that.
And behold, the time came when the people of Belfast could look forward to another week of great shows. After batheing in the Lagan and anointing their feet with Deep Heat ointment, the people of Belfast girded their loins and sat, cross-legged, in front of the radio, chanting the mantra handed down by the ancient ones,
"Come on yeh boy. Come on yeh boy. Come on yeh boy yeh-NIGH!!!"
So, all-a-quiver from gizzard to liver, the people of Belfast wait for Mr Coyle to yell.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Here comes--GERRY!"
We now stand and turn to page two.
I was conducting an experiment on myself to know how a stuffed chicken feels,when Tommy my cat came dancing into the room. He threw some shapes, boogied on down and sang,
"Big wheel keeps on turning
Proud Mary keeps on burning."
"Well not anymore!" I yelled,as I bent my knees like a flea and leaped up on top of the Welsh dresser.
"The big wheel will not be turning anymore!" I cried. "The owners of the big wheel, The Big Wheel Company are going to dismantle it and give it to old Jordie. Old Jordie is going to open a Jeyes Fluid mill and he wants the big wheel to provide the power to run the two, massive, stone Jeyes Fluid grinders."
Tommy snapped his feline fingers and said,
"I care not a jot for the big wheel. It was a bad influence on the people of Belfast. The big wheel was turning the populace into veritable hamsters.
Since it came to Belfast,I have noticed a change in the people. They have grown two buck teeth, little whiskers and are always sniffing the air."
I slapped a thigh, that someone stuck through the open window, and yelled,
"Ester Ransen must never have been off the big wheel in London. Why, the gobby one has turned into a giant hamster, right before our eyes."
"Ester suffers from big wheel addiction," said Tommy "The Priory clinic tried everything,electric shocks,water boarding, tight knickers, even the rack. But everytime Ester was released,she ran pell-mell for the big wheel."
"And now Ester, hamster face, wants to be an MP!" I cried. "Do we want to be governed by someone who is addicted to-big wheels?"
Tommy went into the ponder room for a deep ponder,returned and said,
"Well, I suppose the big wheel is no different to the greasy pole that all MP's are addicted t."
"By the sacret simmet of Jules Holland," I yelled,"you are right Tommy. We are governed by a gyrating band of pole dancers. I feel dirty and grubby. I must go and wash Hans Vandervalk our new postman."
After I had washed my Hans. I gave him a perm, a blow dry, a riser and sent him on his way. You can't hinder the Royal Mail. The Queen would respond by throwing a wobbly and believe me, a royal wobbly is a frightful sight to behold.
"Phillip!. Phillip-you tube! Hold my crown! One is going to throw a right royal wobbly!"