HUNTING FOR VOTERS

Great show yesterday Kid. What a revelation you revealed,when you informed the nation about the cosy tete-a-tete that goes on in a secret room between Ken and Mr Coyle.
Let's draw a veil over the assignation and file it under, 'Don't ask, don't tell.'
Two consenting adults taking a walk on the wild side. Two lonely men helping each other to, make it through the night. Let us avert our eyes and leave them to it. All I will say is this, when you leave the secret room Sean, SHUT THAT DOOR!
Tommy my cat sauntered into the room wearing a yellow tee-shirt with,
"IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE-VOTE ALLIANCE" written on it.
I ran upstairs, which isn't easy in a bungalow and grabbed a green tee shirt with the slogan,
"DON'T EAT BEANS-VOTE FOR THE GREENS."
Both Tommy and I were on the hunt for voters. Busby the budgie was hanging by one leg from his swing shouting,
"NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!"
Poor Busby doesn't get out much and lives in the past.
Tommy pulled a coin out of his Rupert the bear, yellow checked trousers and said,
"Call it. Heads for Prods, tails for Taigs."
"Heads!" I yelled,getting a legal high just from saying the name.
"Sorry," said Tommy with an evil chuckle,
"It's tails. I get the Prods and you get the Taigs. Good luck, trying to sell the Green party to a people who already have a green party in the form of Sinn Fein."
As I got nearer the Falls Road, the sky seemed to darken. People were looking at me. The words, "Old bag" and, "Vile features" were bandied about. I knew what I had to do and I did it. I nipped into a Sinn Fein gift shop and came out wearing a green shirt with, "Vote Sinn Fein" printed on it. Then I headed for the Felons' club.
Oh yes, I am known to the police!