Old News Is No News.

Great show to start the week Kid. The news on the political grapevine is that Gordon Brown loved the show. "One less to hit," he growled, as he cuffed an aide round the ear. I watched as Tommy my cat gathered up the pikes and flint-lock pistols we use to repel borders during the great show. Tommy looked and me and said,
"What would Gerry do without Mr Coyle? It is Mr Coyle who keeps the show topical, up to date and forward looking."
"How right you are Tommy," I said, as I released a homing pigeon, which flew round the house and in the back door.
"Did you hear the story Mr Coyle broke today," said Tommy, "about the four just men way back in the 50's?"
"Mr Coyle is on the ball," I said. "Any day now I expect Mr Coyle to yell,
"COOEE! Breaking News. Big ship hits iceberg and sinks."
"I was cycling past Mr Coyle's home the other week," said Tommy. "I was taking part in a charity run to collect money that would go towards a new pair of tangerine Y-fronts for Tubby Nolan. As I cycled past Mr Coyle's home, I happened to glance in and there was Mr Coyle sitting on a three-legged stool, with a wild fierce look on his face. He was eating Crosse and Blackwell processed peas out of the tin with a tea spoon. On his wall was a 1947 colander, with a big red cross to mark his birthday."
"How the other half live," I said, as I fired a salvo of union jacks towards the market's area.
Listen Kid, in all the time I have written to you, I have never asked for a favour. Well, now I am. Tommy my cat has written a song for the Eurovision song contest. Tubby Nolan has thrown his massive weight behind it and I hope you will do the same.
The song is called, "I LIKE" and it goes like this.
"I like bicycles, icicles and tricycles
And I like chasing missiles, when I've had my tea."
What do you think Kid. Has Tommy "Nailed" it, made it his own? Tommy said, when you are singing the song to your family tonight after tea, give it plenty of the old Ricky Martin snake hips.
Tommy sings the song in the key of G, but you may want to take it up to H or even I. It all depends on how tight your trousers are.
Tommy is still working on the bridge. When he comes home tonight after working on the Queen's bridge, he will sit down at the piano and get stuck into the middle eight.
"COOEE! News is coming in that the Wright brothers have just invented the aeroplane. This could well spell the end of the Zeppelin.".
This has been a Coyle production for BBC Radio Ulster.
Bringing the news to YOU, 50 years after it happens.
I feel tired. I must find a clean spot to lie down! Get back yeh boy yeh!