A maverick walking on the wild side.

Great shows last week Kid. After the Friday great show,Tommy my cat came out of our first-class sitting room. He had been listening to the great show while smoking Cuban cigars and drinking brandy. Even the dogs in the street knew that Tommy was pretending to be Sir Nicholas Winterton.
"I say old thing," said Tommy,"what a jolly good show that was. It was top hole old bean."
He sauntered over to the radio and turned it off by scoffing at its working class accent. The radio burst into tears and ran out the door crying,
"Cor blimey Gov, you upper class toffs is all the same. I know's my place and I ain't stopping where I ain't wanted. I'm going 'ome to 'ackney."
I brought Tommy down to earth with an uppercut and said,
"Did you put your little, frilly, pink knickers into the washing machine with my baggy grey bloomers?"
"YES! I did!" yelled Tommy. "And I will do it again because I am a maverick, a rebel, a loose cannon,a loner. I walk on the wild side. I am trouble. I will NOT conform to the norms of society. YES! I will put pink knickers in with grey drawers. I will WALK on the grass and I will cross when the green man is not flashing."
"Have you been consorting with David Ford and the Alliance party again?" I yelled.
"What if I have?" cried Tommy. "Sure, David Ford is a rough diamond. He eats peas with his knife and drops his H's. David Ford is a free spirit, a hippy. Does David Ford wear flowers in his hair? YES! but that doesn't make him a bad person."
I grabbed Tommy and myself by the scruff of the neck and sat both of us down on two swivel chairs rescued from Henry the 8th's prized coracle, the Mary Rose.
"Tommy!" I yelled. "What have you been up too? I command you to spit it out!"
Tommy spat a big blob of phlegm right up my kisser.
"Not that!" I yelled. "I command you to tell me what goes on at these hedonistic, Alliance party meetings."
Tommy tittered and said,
"Well, after tea and buttered scones, we all strip off and get into the jacuzzi."
"Men and women?" I screamed.
Tommy leered most horribly and said,
"I have every reason to believe so. Then!" said Tommy. "David Ford gets to his feet and leads us all, as we sing in unison, that old folk favourite,"Kumbaya"."
"This is worse than I thought," I said to Henry the hoover. "Why, this David Ford person, is another Timothy Leary. The old folkie wants everyone to drop out, get high and let it all hang out in the jacuzzi. TOMMY!" I yelled. "Does there ever come a time at these Alliance meetings, when the men and women drop their car keys into a fruit bowl?"
Tommy smirked and replied,
"YOU, may very well say that, but I couldn't possibly comment."
"Oh Tommy," I screamed, "little, innocent, thick, Tommy. Please tell me you did not put the key to the lock of your bicycle into the fruit bowl?"
Tommy leered at me and went out the door singing,
"Lets get it on. WOW! Lets get it on."
If I had a piece of my mind to give, I woud give it to old Pete Seeger-David Ford.
A corruptor of cats, that's what David Ford is and a potentate of the common or garden household pussy!
I see Tubby Nolan and Sir Nicholas Winterton are wrestling at the King's hall on Saturday night. That should be quite a draw. Tubby should have the support of the home crowd.
Ah-One, Ah-Two, Ah-THREE!
Only for the pies, Tubby could have been a contender.
Tommy my cat has really gone to pot. I wonder if he was bullied by Gordon Brown?
A lot of people were!