No Beckham, No Fuss.

What a great saint Patrick's day show Kid. Tommy my cat and I listened to the show while eating shamrock sandwiches and downing pints of the black stuff. I never knew treacle could taste so-refreshing! And little Ken, God bless his little torn socks was popping up here, there, and everywhere, like a little leprechaun. Keep your eye on little Ken kid. Someday he may lead you to his crock of gold. After the show Tommy got a treacle high. The wild eyed feline leaped up and yelled,
"I gotta dance! I gotta dance!
And for the next five hours and sixty five minutes, Tommy, wearing a saffron kilt with green embroidery, danced like a dervish in the corner.
"Rock on Tommy!" I yelled. "Rock on, you little belter!" as I raised yet another pint of treacle to my Hibernian, Irish lips.
No David Beckham at the world cup? What a shock that was! David was defending when he tore his Achilles tendon. Tommy and I immediately sent for a grief counsellor, but apparently the grief counsellor had just been to a Jimmy Cricket concert and would not be able to work for two weeks! So,rather than let the Beckham injury fester, Tommy and I decided to sit down and talk it out. Sure it would be painful, open old wounds, but Tommy and I gritted each others' teeth and sat down for a Beckham pow-wow.
I got to my feet, cleared my throat from off the table and said,
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to find out what lasting damage has been done to our mental health by the omission of David Beckham from the world cup. Tommy cat, would you like to start? Will you tell the assembled gathering, how the David Beckham injury will affect your life?"
Tommy got slowly to his feet and said,
"Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking. I would just like to say, I love David Beckham. He is a dear boy. I am sad golden---I mean David, will not be at the world cup. How will it affect me? Well,--Ah--you know--what can I say?---I mean. You go first," said Tommy. "How does the David Beckham injury affect you? Come on, let it out. Vent! Vent! Don't keep it bottled up inside. VENT! In the name of God-VENT!"
I leaped to my feet and cried,
"Well---Ah--you know---what can I say?---I mean,"
After a heated discussion, lasting nine hours and four minutes, Tommy and I came to the conclusion, that the absence of David Beckham from the world cup, will have no discernible effect on our way of life.
SO, WHAT'S ALL THE BIG FUSS ABOUT? EH?