Would He bring Back The Cat?

Great show yesterday kid. A great show which had the old dears of Saint Wayne's Old Folks' Home leaping in the air when a lorry load of Chinese Catheters arrived. "One catheter each," roared head nurse, Nellie Hess. "Unless you walk around enveloped in a perpetual rainbow."
"Pee at last," yelled an old codger. "Thank God almighty, pee at last."
Tommy my cat, directly descended from the Queen of Sheba's pussy, threw his flat cap in the air and cried,
"Another Northern Ireland nil! What consistency! The mathematical odds against it must be staggering and yet, Northern Ireland keep coming up with, Northern Ireland nils."
"The answer is simple," I said. "Good management, excellent coaching and a fierce determination to play for the jersey. Not that it matters," I said, "but how many goals did Norway score?"
"Who cares?" yelled Tommy. "The big sporting news being flashed all over the world is, against all the odds, Northern Ireland, have added to their tally of nils."
"We're not Brisbane, we're Northern Ireland," I sang"
"Here we go, here we go, here we go!" roared Tommy. There was a thunderous knock on the door and there stood a smiling, Mike Nesbitt, with a sheaf of Tom Elliot's electrifying, sound bites in his hand.
"Hi Mike," said Tommy. "How is old Tom?"
"Radiant!" said Mike. "Last week, our esteemed leader made a speech of such power and energy that only 44% of the audience fell asleep."
"A tour de farce," Said Tommy.
"Indeed!" said Mike. "A real Tom Elliot zinger. A tour de farce as you said. Listen, come the next election...."
"Not so fast!" I yelled. "Mike Nesbitt, former presenter, current MLA, husband of Lynda and chicken farmer, answer me one question, if I vote for you, will you bring back the cat?"
"I can't possibly do that," stuttered Mike. "The country would never stand for it."
"Take a look at Tommy," I said.
"I am," said Mike.
"Take a really GOOD look at Tommy!" I yelled. "Are you telling me that if that cat went missing, you would not bring back the cat?"
"Of course I would," stuttered Mike. "When you said, bring back the cat, I thought you meant......"
"Political claptrap and SPIN!" I yelled. "You will get no votes from me and Tommy. That lovely boy, Jim Allister, has promised to bring back the cat, the dog, the budgie AND the goldfish."
As Mike walked sadly away, Tommy yelled after him, "I wouldn't eat your old eggs if you paid me!"
Trust wee Tommy, to come up with the clincher!!!!!