Post Apocalypse Paradise

Great pre-apocalypse shows last week kid.
As you probably know by now, the world ended at six o'clock on Saturday night.
This event was prophesied by evangelist broadcaster 89 year old Harold Camping.
Harold,or 'Arold as he is know in some parts of London,came to the conclusion the world was about to end,by delving into Biblical texts and taking more than the recommended dose of prescription medication
"The day of rapture is coming!" yelled Harold as he hitched up his blue, polyester,Velcro,waistband pants.
Then Hank made his way slowly indoors to pee while yelling,"GET OFF MY LAWN" to some young children.
And true to form the world did end,not with a bang but a whimper. Tommy my cat and I heard a distinct-whimper on the dot of six o'clock and we both knew the world had ended.
"Oh dear," I muttered.
"Bummer!" said Tommy.
Then two burly heaven's angels appeared and roared,
"Listen up you two mugs and listen good. Big computer screw-up in heaven. Many rooms were double, even treble booked. The truth is,there is no room in heaven. You two mugs just carry on as before and we'll drop you an email in 50 or 60 years time when a double room with sharing bathroom is available."
"Oh thank you angelic gentlemen," said Tommy brown nose.
I leaped to my post-dead feet and yelled,
"Forgive me winged gentlemen,on which floor will the Ballymena contingent be housed?"
"Ballymena?" said one angel looking at another. "I ain't got no-Ballymena on my list. What about you Fred?"
"No Ballymena here either Bert," said the second angel,"and if ain't on the list, they ain't getting into heaven."
"Stall the wedding!" I roared.
"You can't have a heaven without Ballymena. Ballymena is the bible belt, braces and galluses of Northern Ireland."
Then Tommy yelled,
"Look on the Ulster/Scots page!"
And there it was,sitting all on its own----------------Ballymena.
Heaven without Ballymena would be like a po without a handle.
"Heaven boy! It's a great big paradise up in the air-Hi!"