The Leaders' Debate

Great show yesterday kid.
A great show which FAILED to warn us about the leaders' debate, or Night of the Zombies on BBC One. There they all were:
Margaret Richie of the SDLP,the taming of the shrew.
David Ford, Lord Snooty, above the common fray.
Ant and Dec, Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness watching each other's back.
Tom Elliott is living proof that the dummy should never leave the ventriloquist and try and make it on its own. Talk about wooden!
"Someone should slap a coat of Roncell on THAT!" said my near-sighted spouse.
It was a night of horror. Nightmarish horror which would send Christoper Lee running for his mammy.
"The reality is," was trotted out like a circus pony.
Short falls. Budget deficit. Working for-change!
First Minister. Second Minister. The orange and green minstrels.
"What about the working man?" yelled a wee tube, who had never worked a day in his life.
"I'll answer that question," said, David "Catweezle" Ford. "The Alliance party will provide jobs for the working man and lamp posts for the working women."
"We need more women in public life!" shrieked Margaret Richie.
"We must provide a level playing field, with mirrors, makeup and copies of Heat magazine on the touch line."
"Let's not get too excited," droned Tom Elliott. "And may I add, the main plank of the UUP party is made of-wood! WOOD!" yelled Tom, "WOOD! The UUP is a stand alone party. No one has his hand up my back working ME!"
"Why do we never see WOMEN coal men?" screamed the shrewish Margaret Richie.
Peter and Martin stood with a wee smile. Everything was coming up roses.
"I hope this podium is made from good Fermanagh WOOD," droned Tom Elliott.
"WOMEN!" shrieked Margaret Richie.
"WOOD!" droned Tom Elliott.
"Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen" said Mark Carruthers. "The election is on Thursday and I'm sure that you,like me, are looking forward to it."
"WOOD!" droned Tom.
"WOMEN!" shrieked Margaret.