PRODIGIOUS PROGRAMMES

Great show yesterday kid.
"He hasn't lost it," said Tommy my cat,as he held up a hulu-hoop for Henry the hoover to jump through.
"Gerry still has the old magic. That great show we heard today could only be described as-prodigious."
"The very word I was looking for under the bed this morning," I cried.
"Alas and alac," I said to the very dusty, yet attentive mantlepiece,"the world of enterainment is in a sorry and dire state.The X-factor has ruined more cubs and cutties than rickets. So-called "Stars" travel great distances at fantastic expence only to grin into a camera and say,
"My name is Rob Brydon and this is "ME" in Russia." or "I used to be in Eastenders, now here I am in China."
"And they always come BACK!" yelled Tommy."That's what yanks up my simmet,they always come-BACK!"
"COOKING!" I screamed,throwing an Ulster/ Swedish turnip at the wall.
"Did we not all grow up watching our mothers cook? And now, the tubes who run TV, think we should all sit round and watch a leering Anthony Wirrel Thompson stuff a mongoose."
"There's a new cooking programme starting on Channel 4," said Tommy."The powers that be describe it as-ground-breaking. It's called,"Who ordered the salmonella?"
"Apparently the programme is full of graphic, full frontal boking and fatalities."
"Tut-Tut," I said,as I chased the young Egyptian Boy-King who was selling papyrus from door to door."
"They come over here and take our jobs," mumbled Tommy.
"SILENCE!" I cried."If old Vince Cable gets his way, you and I shall be doing the same round the old bazaar in Cairo."
"We live," said Tommy,adding the final,deft touch to a painting of Edwin Poots riding a yellow ostrich,"we live in a world of want and waste. Last week I ordered half a ton of bubble wrap and when it arrived,it was wrapped in-bubble wrap.
"Satire noted and acknowledged, I replied.
"What we need, screamed Tommy,"is the SMACK of firm government. We all need short sharp shocks. Prison works!" yelled Tommy."As does the bacon slicer at Murphy's the grocer. Bring back Mussolini!" yelled Tommy."Bring back little Benito,he will settle their hash."
I brought Tommy's rightwing tirade to an end with a riser, which could only be described as-prodigious!