Titled Comedians and Plagiarism

Greetings Kid. What a great show you put on yesterday from the Balmoral show.
Tommy my cat sniffed the air and said,
"Ah, the Balmoral show. You can almost smell the....."
"Language Tommy," I warned.
Tommy shot me a glance full of venom,a real Peter Robinsoner and said,
"I was going to say, you can almost smell the fish and chips. Bye the bye," said Tommy, brushing imaginary, volcanic ash from his primrose yellow lederhosen,
"What a lot of laughing Mr Coyle did today. I do believe the lad has access to laughing gas."
I shot one of the three ducks flying up the wall with a Lee Enfield rifle and said,
"If Mr Coyle has laughter to spare, he should can it and sell it to Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner's new show is going down like a Newfoundland goose with a belly full of buckshot."
"I do so agree," said Tommy. "Frank Skinner-Opinionated? What kind of title is that? And Frank is not the only culprit. There is Lee Evans, alive and wired. Sean Locke, almost live and by far the worst of all, Frankie Boyle, contains 100% vile, putrid haggis."
"It's the "In thing," I said. "Back in the good old days, you had the Les Dawson show. Not Les Dawson, fat and sweating."
"Did Tubby Nolan go to the Balmoral show? said Tommy.
"No," I answered. "Tubby was afraid to be measured."
Tommy chuckled and said,
"Was Tubby afraid they would measure his....?"
"His girth," I cried. "His girth. I do not understand," I said, "I do not understand... and I see it all about me... continually... how the most sensitive and cultivated of cats can so easily change, almost overnight, into the bully, the cutpurse, the brigand. In my day nobody changed. A man was. Only religion could alter him, and that at least was a glorious misery."
"PLAGIARIST!" yelled Tommy. "You stole every word of that from Harold Pinter's play, No Man's Land."
"Did I?" I cackled,as I backed Tommy into a corner. His eyes filled with horror as I leered,
"Now! Is the Winter of our discontent."
Tommy whimpered as I hissed,
"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."
Tommy screamed loud and shrill as I shrieked,
"Once upon a time there were three little pigs."