Stalemate,and procrastination produces product.

Great show yesterday Kid and everyone,even the dogs in the street know that the Tuesday show is a strange little show. The Tuesday show can be unpredictable. The Tuesday show can be hard to control. It takes a light hand on the tiller and good all round vision to put on a great Tuesday show.
After the great Tuesday show,Tommy my cat yelled,"BISTO" and turned the radio off by running at it with his head. He got up from the floor where he had fallen,adjusted his grey flannel trousers and his navy blue button-down-the-front cardigan and said,
"In the political stalemate in which we find ourselves,a certain degree of sequesteredness is called for,but I feel compelled," cried Tommy,"I feel deeply compelled to point out,that the great show Gerry put on today will be remembered long after all the yahoos and hullabaloos at Stormont are but a distant memory in the minds of old men, who sit close to the fire on a Summer day, leering, drooling and singing the songs of yesterday,by such diverse artists as Tom Petty, Lily Allen and Lady Ga Ga."
I sat looking at Tommy with my mouth hanging open.Then I picked up a large Chambers dictionary and happed it off his head. I hate, loath, detest and despise a pretentious pussy.
As the day wore on and still no white smoke wafted from the exhaust pipe in Stormont, I leaped to my feet yelling, "Thunder bolt and lightning, very very frightening!"
I quickly super-glued a piece of cable to my hair brush and hurried off to Stormont. I was faced with a veritable George Melee of political correspondents.
"Get back yeh boy yeh!" I yelled, as I elbowed my way between the pride of UTV, Ken Reid and the Queen of the BBC, Martina Purdy.
Then the mates who were involved in the stalemate appeared on the steps of Stormont.
Ken Reid nearly deafened me when he guldered, "Is there still procrastination on the probable, probability of producing-product?"
And I knew, I just knew that Lynda Byrons had put Ken Reid up to ask that question and now Lynda was sitting laughing back at the studio, feet up on the desk and scoffing a wagon wheel.
"Hey you guys!" cried Martina Purdy."Will any guys with sashes be marching down the Garvaghy Road this year?"
I had enough. I put my hair brush to my mouth and yelled, "What about the working man? And how do we know he's not doing the double?"
"I saw big Brian Cowan whisper, "Head-banger" to Gordon Brown.
"Bring back the three day week!" I yelled.
"With regard to product!" guldered Ken Reid.
"With regard to my aunt Fanny," I roared,"Why does a pan loaf cost an arm and a leg?"
Sammy Wilson pointed at me and said, "I agree with that wee woman. I had a mother in my surgery last week, A CATHOLIC mother I might add, And she said the cost of wee baps is going through the roof."
So there you have it. The price of wee baps is coming down by a penny,but the battle for policing and justice still goes on.
This is woman with cat reporting for K.A.T. outside Stormount.
Back to you in the studio Gerry!"
Oh, would any of the girls have-product in their handbags?
I used to have-product, but I put it away somewhere safe and now I can't find it!
Do you have a nasty log jam in YOUR front garden? Time to use-Product.
NEW Improved Product contains 10% more product that other product makers. So remember! Ask for-Product and get things moving again!
(Another voice-over for James Nesbit)