The Biggest Circus In Town

Great show yesterday Kid. The show clipped along at a good pace, like a pony and trap. There you sat at the reins, and beside you, Mr Coyle, Ireland's troll, the dead spit of Barry O'Sullivan. Sean--or--Barry would tip his hat to everyone he met and cry, "Good luck to you. Good luck to you now!"
Meanwhile the two lovely colleens were bent over their spinning wheels, spinning a strange,green yarn that is used to make suits for the little people. In fact Hugo Duncan is coming in for a fitting on Friday.
"Leave me plenty of room round the oxters girls. Your uncle Hugo likes plenty of room round the oxters. Ah, he does, he does, he does."
Tommy my cat is huffed with me because I would not let him go and see the big circus up at Hillsborough.
"Will there be wild animals?" asked Tommy.
I stared at the wall,where I'd love to have a window and replied, "Well,it depends on your definition of-wild animals."
"Does the circus have a high wire act?" said Tommy.
"Indeed they do," I said. "Every night Martin McGuinness and Peter Robinson,clad in very revealing leotards,edge out on the high wire, hands outstretched,trying to reach each other. But they never do. At the last moment, one of them gets scared and retreats to his own corner."
"Do they have-clowns?" said Tommy.
"They have more clowns than you could shake a stick at," I said. "In fact, there are some who say that the circus is made up entirely of clowns. And at the weekend, two of the biggest clowns in the world flew in to join the circus. Gordeno from London and Biffo from Dublin."
"I bet the circus is packed every night," said Tommy.
"It used to be," I said. "Away back in the midst of time, the people used to tear down security fences and fight with the police to get into the circus."
"And now?" said Tommy.
"Now," I said, "no one gives a tinker's curse. The people stand looking on from afar and say, "HOW LONG CAN THIS CIRCUS GO ON FOR?"
"I don't want to go now," said Tommy. "I think I'll stay in and watch Wan Gok get some old bags to take their clothes off."
"Good idea," I cried. "We can laugh at the naked, wrinkly prunes with a bag of popcorn in one hand and a sick bag in the other hand.
Mamma, don't let your babies grow up to be circus clowns. There but for the grace of God go I. Oh yes, I would have joined the circus, only I didn't have the Latin, the Irish or the Ulster/Scots. Being buck stupid has its advantages. No one will point to me on TV and yell, "Look at that tube, getting well paid for sitting around acting the clown.".