Team GB Find It Hard To Strike Gold.

Great show yesterday kid. The Olympic games were stopped so the large crown could listen to it on the big screen. Every time you put Mr Coyle down, a big Mexican wave went through the stadium. Tommy my cat, wearing scanty, vermilion,volley ball pants and a lime green bandeau looked at me and said, "Britain is finding it hard to strike gold in the Olympic games." "It's all good!" I replied. "Seb Coe has looked into it and found that other countries are swimming and cycling faster and generally trying harder than we are. Now the problem has been identified, a select committee will be set up to see what needs to be done." "Good!" cried Tommy. "I like select committees. I like the way they sit in horse shoe formation. Very pastoral, very John Constable." After a timid knock on the door, a very deflated Jim Rodgers entered, "Jim!" I cried. "You look, disgruntled. Why no, nigh, nigh, nigh, for your old friends?" "I haven't a nigh, nigh, nigh, left in me," said Jim. "I thought, after my world famous tomato jump, I would be a certainty for the high jump in London, but Seb Coe, said I would turn the whole thing into a circus, so he did." Tommy, threw both arms round Jim's knee and cried, "Turn the Olympics into a circus? You, Jim Rodgers? Never! Your day will come Jim. Bide your time. In the meantime, go home, and prepare for bed!" He sat on the corner of Donegal Street, astride of an old packing case. YES! it was Tubby Nolan, selling clothes pegs, combs and coloured ribbons. "Hey, Sir Alan Sugar Rush," I yelled. "Has it come to this? Mrs Nolan's little boy selling rubbish on a street corner. Why Tubby? In the name of Friar Tuck-WHY?" "I need the money," growled Tubby. "All the major airlines got together and issued a decree that I, Tubby Nolan, must pay for three seats before boarding an aircraft." "It was hardly unforeseen," I said. "After the squashing of the two gentlemen of Verona.". "There must be another way to travel," said Tubby. "How does a hovercraft work?" "It works by air," I said. A crafty smile appeared on Tubby's face and he guldered, "I can provide plenty of air, point me in the direction of the hovercraft shop."