I'm worried about Jim

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which brought much needed work to Clogher. An old codger was peacefully smoking his pipe and driving his tractor when, into his earphones, came a tarra gulder of Mr Coyle, singing, "Two Little Boys." The old codger, cried, "Yo Bro, Respect!" before demolishing a row of small houses built for pensioners and peewheets. It will take a gang of 50 men, five years to rebuild the houses. This will bring much needed trade to the local supermarket and Toots La Rue, who resides in, No 27, Bordello Road, Clogher. Any spare time Toot's has, is given over to looking after mice suffering from scurvy. Tommy my cat, looked at me, vomited and said, "Did you know, after the Gerry show, producer Mickey Bradly, takes Gerry, Sean and Janet into a broom cupboard and debriefs them?" "A gross misuse of power!" I yelled. "I know Gerry and Janet would be up for it, but does not Mr Coyle, protest at being de-knickered?" "You don't understand," said Tommy. "Debriefed, means to go over the show in detail." "Not in Africa!" I roared. "Debriefs, mean, de material dat covers de ass." Just then the door opened and Jim Allister trailed in. Jim, looking resplendent in Union Jack tank top moaned, "I have no one to play with. The other boys point at me and call me a dinosaur." "Man up!" I yelled. "Grow a pair of..of. ash plants and batter all around you. Take up body building. Learn the noble art of boxing. Don't stand there blubbering about having no one to play with. My late daddy, had no one to play with until he was on his death bed. Oh the joy on his face, as he and the undertaker threw darts at the lid of his coffin.". "Leave little Jim alone!" cried Tommy. "Jim is shy and sensitive." "Then why is he always roaring and shouting up at Stormount?" I yelled. Tommy patted Jim's sandy hair and replied, "Every roar and shout is a cry for help. It's Jim's way of saying, "I need a group hug." "More likely to get a group riser!" I said. "Peter Robinson called Jim the Ancient Mariner." Wee Jim, gave a scream and yelled, "Like one who on a lonesome road doth walk in fear and dread. And having once looked back walks on and turns no more his head. Because he knows Martin McGuinness doth close behind him tread." Jim, gave a horrible scream and rushed off to Stormount to raise, yet another, point of order. "I'm worried about Jim," said Tommy. as he picked up the milk and shut the door with a slam.