They think It's All Over..It is now!!

Great shows last week kid. Ken Maguinness, who was raging against the pink machine, took time off to mutter through a soup stained moustache,"Thon Anderson boy puts on a humdinger of a show." Tommy my cat sat looking at the £12.79 he had withdrawn from his K2 tax shelter and said. "Just got it out before David Cameron labelled me another Jimmy Carr." I gazed at the glittering horde and said, "Where will you put your money now Tommy, derivatives, hedge funds, junk bonds,or your little pink, piggy bank?" "Neither!" replied Tommy, scooping all the money into a burlap sack. "I'm going back to the Post Office. No more high risk gambles for me! The Post Office girls are very sweet and friendly. Just last week, I asked for a second class stamp. The counter girl, a real little sweetie, said, "I don't have any second class stamps, but just for you, I'll tear a first class stamp in two. Now, that's thinking, that's using your head." "Tommy," I said. "Come into the war room, we have something important to discuss." I stood in front of the big map of Gortin and said, "Next Wednesday, the Queen, will shake hands with Mr Martin McGuinness. The country is waiting for our response. Today, we must release a press statement, outlining our views on the historic, hand shake. As secretary of state for this house, do you forsee any impediments or difficulties?" Tommy paced the floor, hands behind his back, and answered, "In my view, it's too soon. I smell intrigue in the air. I think the hand shake is a-ruse. A ruse by the house of Windsor!My spies tell me the Queen intends to grasp Mr McGuinness by the hand, pull him towards her and headbutt him right between the eyes. This could lead to apathy in the streets, a huge fall in sterling, the end of the fish supper, as we know it, and British warships, seizing the Giant's Causeway and carrying it off to Bristol." I ran to my writing desk and dashed off a letter to Mrs Bunty Hoven, 27 Pigs Lane, Ballymena. "TOP SECRET! It is the view of Tommy and I, that the hand shake should go ahead, with the proviso, that Mr McGuinness, wears a boxer's gumshield and a motorcycle helmet." I put the letter in an envelope and cried, "A stamp! A stamp! Time is off the essence!" Tommy, leapt to his feet and yelled, "I'll run down to the Post Office and ask the nice girl to tear another first class stamp in two!" NOW all we could do was-wait. Could we, would we, be in time to save the Giant's Causeway? Feeling the hand of history on my shoulder, I yelled, "The lights are going out all over Poleglass, due to unpaid bills!" P.S. I was nearly asleep when Tommy rushed in yelling, "THEY THINK IT'S ALL OVER, IT IS NOW!!!!" I yawned and said, "I told Woy Hodgeson, score a goal before the final whistle, or you will pay a penalty!" Tommy giggled, leapt into bed beside me, and put his ice cold feet on my back.