The Boys Did Good.

Welcome back kid to sultry, sunny Northern Ireland. The heat, when it came, was welcome, but now people are beginning to complain. I saw a group of women kicking and flinging outside Tesco's. They were driven to mad distraction by big bluebottles settling on their eyes and eating their mascara. Clothes are being thrown off that people didn't even know they had on! I saw one ancient, female relic standing at her garden gate, holding up a pair of old, mouldy, bottle green knickers. "Nine pennies!" she bawled to a woman across the street. "Nine pennies and two clothing coupons back in 1944. I am taking them to the skip!" A man going by on a bicycle said, "Put them down and they might walk there themselves." Sunny Jim Allister turned up at Stormont wearing a knotted hankie on his head and a pair of electric blue speedos on his pale, white legs. A security man, who thought it might be Red Nose day, let him in without a murmur. I hope Thunder Thighs and the Eyebrow did not wreck your studio. The boys did good! Thunder Thighs played thought provoking music and conducted probing interviews with high ranking stars in the music business. The Eyebrow hobnobbed with the great unwashed and played a plethora of golden oldies which first came out on vinyl. What a change came over Mr Coyle! Gone was the grumpiness. The Eyebrow was Mr Amenable, Herr Congeniality. Nothing was too much trouble. "Nora! Nora! I haven't got "My Old Man's A Dustman" by Lonnie Donegan, but I'll play it first thing tomorrow. No trouble at all Nora. That's what I'm here for. You make yourself a nice wee cup of tea and take it easy. Goodbye Nora. Goodbye. Take care now." The Eyebrow did come unstuck on Wednesday when his hearing let him down. A woman called Joan was on the phone. suddenly she shrieked, "You called me Jan!" "I called you-jam?" spluttered a dumbfounded Mr Coyle. "You called me-JAN!" roared Joan. "I have no recollection of calling you-jam!" shouted Mr Coyle. "JAN!" bellowed Joan. "JAM!" guldered Mr Coyle. "JAN!" screamed Joan. "JAM!" yelled our hard-of-hearing hero. It all got sorted out in the end, but I don't think Joan, Jan, or Jam, will ever call Mr Coyle again! Tommy my cat is away camping with the boy scouts. At first I was worried that Tommy might be bullied or picked on by the other scouts. After pulling many strings I was reassured to know that Tommy will be sharing a tent with the scout master! People who don't know Tommy see him as brash and cocky. Let me assure you, Tommy is really shy and sensitive. I have seen little Tommy cry his eyes out when watching, "Lassie Come Home".