The unpredictability of life.

Great show yesterday kid.
Tommy my cat adjusted his burnt umber Bavarian lederhosen and said,
"That great show will stand out as a shining beacon for people who find themselves adrift on the sea of life. Lonely, desperate people," yelled Tommy,
"hanging on like grim death to failed relationships, dead end jobs, delusions of grandeur and a firm belief that the cast of Hollyoaks are real people!"
"Poor, pathetic, delusional wretches," I said."Lost souls, adrift on the sea of heart break. Devotees of The Antiques Road Show, repeats of Victoria Wood and the shipping forecast."
"The flotsam and jetsam of humanity," cried Tommy,"bobbing about on the sea of life, going no where, dependant on tide and wind, depicting in graphic detail the essence of the famous poem,
"Not waving, but drowning."
Let's examine the unpredictability of life," said Tommy. "You got up this morning without a bump on your head. Now watch,I pick up this heavy, cast-iron frying pan, bring it down hard on your skull and HEY PRESTO, now you have a bump on your head. Such are the vagaries and unpredictability of life."
I lay in the corner stunned and yelled,
"That's amazing Tommy! Do it again Tommy. Do it again!"
"No," said Tommy. "Not until your fractured skull has mended."
That's what I like about Tommy, his kindness and humanity.
Oh BEWARE kid!!!. Scam artists are going from door to door selling fake frogspawn.
All you get for your tenner is wallpaper paste with raisins in it.
The badness of some people makes me want to PUKE!