TOO CLOSE TO CALL.

Great show yesterday kid.
A great show which may sway yet the election result in the small island of Guano (pop 27) in the South seas. In the latest Mori poll the Right party and the Wrong party were neck and neck.
"It's too close to call," yelled Tommy my cat."but if the Wrong party get in, the price of guano will go through the roof!"
"If the worst happens," I cried,"we could eke out a living by dipping into our guano reserves and buying wisely on the black market!"
"QUICK!" yelled Tommy. "There's a willie wagtail in the garden with its tail up. Run out quickly with the small, miniature po."
I got there just in time. The amount was very small, yet every little counts for those of us who depend on a plentiful supply of guano to make us happy and give us a raison-de-etre.
"So!" I said,tapping my head against the wall and listening to the echo, "Mr Coyle is suffering from the head-staggers. His inner ear is kaput."
"His inner ear may have gone," said Tommy,"but his outer mouth,I say,his outer mouth is working fine."
"Every day,in every way," I said,"we find out more and more about Emma. Who would have thought she was a karaoke kid?"
"In Victorian London," said Tommy,"karaoke was looked down on. It was something only the poor did. Then karaoke was taken up by Queen Victoria, Prince Albert, Christopher Wren, the Bow Street runners and Jackie Fullerton and soon karaoke rang out from every castle and large estate in England."
I tittered and said,
"Doctor Johnson said,"Karaoke was an assault on the ears,an irritant to the stomach and if taken to excess could become habit forming and lead to blindness."
"Rubbish!" retorted Tommy."Studies carried out by Sir Basil McCrea and Jedward have found that claim to be spurious and without merit."
"Let's do some karaoke Tommy," I said,"please, please, pretty please."
Five minutes later Tommy and I were standing with our trousers down knocking seven bells out of Daniel O'Donnell's, "MOON OVER IRELAND".
Don't try this at home kids!