Too Much Liberation

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which stopped an army of pish-muloges invading the Latin quarter of Sixmilecross. Foreign Secretary William, "Egg Head" Hague said, while doing pish-ups, sorry--push-ups, in the house of commons,
"Mr.Speaker and indeed, Mrs Listener, I would like to inform the house that the army of pish-muloges threatening the Latin quarter of Sixmilecross has been routed and is on the retreat. This is due entirely to the Gerry Anderson show and the air support provided by the Royal Air Force. The opposition, oh yes Mr. Speaker, the opposition would have appeased the pish-muloges, but Her Majesty's government stood firm and will do so again, if any town in Ulster is threatened by insects led by a mad dictator. So let earwigs quake and creepy-crawlies fear, we'll keep our simmets flying here."
(If you would like to stand up and stretch your legs, now is the time to do so.)
Tommy my cat and I stood in the nude after watching, "Buck Naked" with Gok Wan.
"I feel-liberated and much more confident!" yelled Tommy.
"Free of the restriction of clothes," I roared,"I feel as light as thistledown! I want to skip, elf-like through secret bowers of bluebells. I want to bathe in secret, blue lagoons and hang by the heels from a tall oak tree. I want to roll, wantonly in lush, green meadows and perch like a gannet on a rural, rustic, wooden stile. I want to display my beauty to the WORLD!"
"Well, before you do," said Tommy,"lie down on the kitchen table and I'll run the smoothing iron over you."
Tommy is a master of the smoothing iron. Soon I was running naked down Belfast with just two scorch marks, one on either hip. Alas Matt Baggott captured me in a butterfly net and I appear in court next week charged with startling old codgers and frightening the horses. I can just see the headline in the Sunday World.
"Free spirit fined half a nicker for having no knickers."
Tommy got off with a caution and a small riser just under the tail.
I think Tommy got off easier because he's a Catholic!