Fiscal News

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which greatly aided the Pound in its unfair fight with the Euro and the Dollar.
"The Pound has rallied!" yelled Tommy my cat. "The dollar is just holding its own. Brian Cowan, Angela Merkel, Nicolas Sarzozy, Silvio Berlusconi, your Euro is taking a hell of a beating. Your Euro is taking a hell of a beating!"
I clapped my Hans, two Dutch lodgers I had recently taken in, and cried,
My drawers are shaking! This great fiscal news has affected the pound in my pocket."
Tommy my cat looked at me with a gormless look on his face like Adrian Chiles and said,
"Britain owes a shed load of money doesn't it?"
"It sure does," I said. "Billions and billions and even more billions."
"To who or whom does Britain own this money?" asked Tommy.
"The banks," I said.
"That can not be!" said Tommy. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but did this fiscal hanlin' not come about because the banks went bust as a result of greed and gross stupidity.
So how can we own money to the people who got us into this mess in the first place?"
Once again, it had taken a simple lump of a cat to reveal that the Emperor wore no clothes and was naked as a jaybird.
"Ah, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy," I said,"there is no sense or logic in the hanlin' we are in. One way or another we are going back to Dickensian times. There will be small boys up chimneys. Once again we shall hear the cry of the knife grinder and the rag and bone man and many shall languish in debtors' prisons."
"It could be worse," said Tommy. "Had we gone back to the 1970s everyone would be wearing flared trousers."

"Release that fat, obese Guy!" I yelled to the gang of hoodies who were pulling poor Steven Nolan around Belfast in a wee cart.
"Tubby is not a play-thing or a figure of fun. He is a man! Prick him and see how much he bleeds."
"Shut your gub bucket bake!" roared Tubby. "This is my idea. I get 75% of the treats!"
Oh the things a plump man will stoop to, to stuff his pie-hole!
"Penny for the guy! Penny for the BIGGEST guy in the country!"