Two pennies to rub together.

What a great show the Tuesday show was Kid and, coming so soon after the Monday show, one could be forgiven for getting the cock-a-many idea that you were trying to put the shows out in sequence! As if you would! Anyone who knows your wild child, rebel, cock a snook at the world attitude, would know that conformity is not a trait of Gerald Michael Anderson.

Tommy my cat and I listened to the show, peeping out of a giant bubbling saucepan. We were pretending to be two old boilers. After the show, I turned the radio off, by placing it behind the back wheel of a reversing juggernaut. I looked at Tommy the cat, who as luck would have it was looking at me and said, "Did you hear Mr Coyle start the show with a long monologue about marrying for money?" "I did," said Tommy,"And I was disgusted, repulsed, outraged and filled with vile repugnance." "Not so fast young Thomas," I said. "Take my late daddy now." "Not in broad day light," said Tommy. "I'll creep down to the cemetery later tonight and dig him up." "NO!" I yelled, "Take my late daddy as a model. My late daddy!" I sobbed, with eyes in my tears. "My late daddy never had two pennies to rub together. Then he read a self help book called, "NIGH is the hour." That book changed his life. He ran out and got six jobs. Then two years later, my late daddy skipped into the house yelling, "Wife, children, gather round, at last I've go two pennies to rub together!" My late daddy, skipped-gaily over to a lime green bean bag and began to rub the two pennies together." "How happy he must have bean," said Tommy. "By sheer hard work and the fact that no buses had run over him, he could sit like a King in his castle and rub two pennies together. Did your late daddy have a big smile on his face?" said Tommy. "Did he? I bet he had, Did your late daddy have a big self satisfied smile on his face, when he rubbed the two pennies together?" "Not really," I replied. "The friction caused by rubbing the two pennies together, caused a spark, setting fire to the lime green bean bag and before you could say, "Silly old sod!" the house had burned to the ground."

"Bummer!" said Tommy. "Tell me about it," I said, "And we were only insured for elephant stampedes or external damage done by frivolous fairyies."

"Double bummer!" said Tommy, "and add three!"

All this and more have I seen from behind the creaking, groaning waistband of Tubby Nolan's Kelvin Klein's.