Tommy Has One Too Many

Great show on Wednesday Kid. That's three in a row, things are fairly rattling along. Do you ever feel that maybe things are going too well? Do you ever feel, as the song says, "There may be trouble ahead?" Mr Coyle could throw a wobbly, a wobbly so perverse and disgusting, that all other wobblies would be put in the shade. Watch him Kid, watch that giggling man who sits behind the glass. Is he planning some horrid Pol Pot plans with the girls. He has them eating out of his hand. That's why Emma said it was very important to wash the webbed V between thumb and index finger. Be aware Kid, be aware of Mr Coyle and his inexhaustible supply of--wobblies!

Tommy, my cat, came home very drunk. He lay against the door jamb with a stupid smile on his feline face and slurred, "Hic, there she is! There's the bestest wee woman in the world." Go to your bed Tommy," I said "You're drunk." "No," slurred Tommy. "No, not-hic-drunk, but I have drink taken." "Go to your bed now Tommy," I said, "You'll have a hangover in the morning." "She speaks!" yelled Tommy with a flourish, "The angel in human form speaks. Listen" said Tommy. "Come here, I love you, I do, I love you, what would I be without you? You are the wind beneath my wings and the-hic, the, the furnace in my boiler." "Go to bed," Tommy I said, "Before you fall down." "I shall go to bed!" said Tommy with a yell, "But before I do, I must put in on record, that I, Tommy cat, love you, woman with cat with all my heart and with all my soul"
Next morning Tommy staggered down the stairs as white as a ghost. I said nothing. Tommy lowered himself on to a gooseberry green bean bag and croaked, "Did I--ah--say anything last night?"

I gazed at the feline wretch and replied, "No, you just came in and went straight to bed." "Good," muttered Tommy. "Now listen, you ugly old rat bag, keep your big yapper shut today, because I have a tarra headache."
All this and more have I seen, as Lynda Byrons put my arm up my back and marched me out of her bedroom. I was only in there to admire the woodchip wall paper!