Dana To Stand On What Platform???

Great show yesterday kid. Tommy my cat threw a handful of gravel on the table and yelled,
"I wish to make a statement to the house."
"Resign!" yelled Henry the hoover.
"ORDER!" I roared. "Order in the house!"
"I have been offered and accepted," yelled Tommy, "the post of gopher in Dana's campaign to be the next president of Ireland."
"Too little, too late," chirped Rodger the budgie.
I leaped to my feet and roared, "Would the right honourable cat tell the house on what platform the darling Dana will stand? ORDER! ORDER!" I yelled as Henry and Rodger began to boo, hiss-yes, hiss and cat call.
"They don't want to hear it!" yelled Tommy. "Both honourable members have little, or no regard for free speech."
"RESIGN!" yelled Henry. "Sling your hook!" chirped Rodger.
"In answer to the right honourable ratbag's question," yelled Tommy, "the delightful Dana's policies are, family values, the preservation of the wild mountain hare and sturdy,sensible,flat shoes."
I leaped to my feet and roared, "Where does dainty Dana stand on, all kinds of everything?"
"She's against it!" yelled Tommy. "Dana feels that, all kinds of everything is a charter for low lives, scum bags, hamster lovers and people over the age of 85 living in sheltered accommodation. On the day Dana is elected, she will provide every townland in Ireland with its own Kitty the Hare. SOON! little scuttling women, dressed in black, with shawls over their heads, will leap out from behind fairy trees on dark nights screaming, "Aah! musha-a-lana and Mother McCree!"
The house broke up then for cucumber sandwiches and a spot of grouse shooting.
Tommy sidled up to me and whispered, "HE!!! will be back on Monday. Mr Coyle,the agitator, interrupter and disruptor will be back on black Monday. I had hoped......." whispered Tommy.
"I know!" I hissed, yes! hissed. "I too had hoped that the little sailors from Somalia would have shanghaied old mono eyebrow."
"The word in the hood AND on the grapevine," whispered Tommy, "is the little sailors have-gone."
"BUMMER!" I yelled as the division bell rang to separate the right honourable Catholics from the right honourable Protestants.