Monday 7 August 2017

Booker is the

Great show yesterday Kid. Even Sir Reg Empry and Peter Robinson were seen to smile when Mr Coyle made reference to your 'Hanging basket'. I believe Mr Coyle is not as green as he is cabbage looking and is well aware of his 'innocent' double entendres. Tommy my cat has christened Mr Coyle the Charles Hawtrey of Radio Foyle.
"Oh hello! Has anyone seen my sausage roll?"
Mr Coyle is the sultan of smut, Radio Foyle's answer to Lennie Bruce. I believe Mr Coyle gets most of his one liners from Ireland's Own and Our Boys.
Tommy blew a John Coltrane riff on his saxophone, looked at me and said,
"I say old thing, I wonder who shall win the Booker prize this year?"
I stuck the poker into my ear to get my brain working and said,
"Tommy, enlighten me. What is the Booker prize?"
Tommy winked at a wino peeping in the window and said,
"The Booker prize is a competition to find a book that no one will ever read."
"That doesn't make sense!" I yelled. "I have a sneaking suspicion that the Booker prize comes under the banner of Arts and culture."
"Indeed it does," said Tommy. "What a thrill it is! What a thrill it is to be sure to see the great and good dressed up to the nines, to applaud a book so oblique, so-so unreadable. Thousands of copies of the winning book will be sold and thrown, still wrapped, straight into the wheelie bin. It really is the highlight of the literary calendar. All the great writers will be there--and Melvin Bragg."
"The Emperor's new clothes!" I yelled. "It's the Emperor's new clothes all over again. Oh for some child, some dirty urchin to walk into the Booker competition and cry,
"See youse? Youse is all mad in the head so youse are!"
"But WHERE" cried Tommy, "can one find an urchin at this time of the night?"
I just went back to reading the Beano. You know where you are with the Beano. The Beano may not be art or culture, but it makes me chuckle.
And that's what we all want, a good chuckle--chuck!

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