I Blame Sebastian Coe!!

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which livened up no end old Musha McCree, from the hills above Drumquin. For the past four years old Musha has been leaping shucks and bog holes hoping to be picked for the Northern Ireland team at the Olympic games in London. Musha was on the short list, but failed a drug test. Apparently he was pumped full of suelugs and magic mushrooms. Old Musha, took it badly. He jumped on his bicycle and roared, "The Iranians will be glad of me!" Tommy my cat, wearing a French maid's costume came in with two cups of tea and some Jaffa cakes on a plate. I leaped to my feet, dashed the plate to the floor and cried, "Tommy, do you want to end up in the tower? How dare you arrange the five Jaffa cakes in the sacred symbol of the Olypmic games. Have you not heard of the stringent branding law. No five circles shall be so arranged as to imply, or copy the five precious rings of the London Olympic games." "We live in a police state!" cried Tommy. "I want to be FREE, to arrange my Jaffa cakes how I like. Blonde beauty, Boris Johnson. said the branding law was foolish and draconian in the extreme." "Boris, is a fool," I said. "Anything relating to five rings is out until the end of the Olympics. In London, just yesterday, riot police stood by as a busker sang the twelve days of Christmas. When he dared sing , "FIVE golden rings" the riot squad pounced. The busker has been sentenced to 27 life terms in jail, after he gets out of hospital." "I blame snaggle tooth Sebastian Coe!" yelled Tommy. "The little sporting Tzar has gone power mad. Steve Ovett would never have turned the Olympic games into the Spanish inquisition." Just then a Papal nancio burst in yelling, "The Pope is not pleased with you. Don't make the Pope angry. You wouldn't like the Pope, if you made him angry." "Tommy, pointed to a picture of Martin Luther eating a lollypop and said, "We are not Catholics, we is Protestant." "Every one is a Catholic in the eyes of the Pope!" shrieked the wee Roman hitman. "NIGH! NIGH! NIGH!" screamed Jim Rodgers. "Food, glorious food!" yelled Tubby Nolan. "The reality IS!" roared Mark Durkin, standing at a street corner with Alex Attwood and a couple of hard nuts from the SDLP. "The President is NOT a crook!" guldered Nigel Dodds. "I just don't know what to do with myself," sang Mike Nesbitt. "Turned out nice again!" snarled David Ford. I turned to Tommy and roared, "Look what you started with your five Jaffa cakes." "JAFFA CAKES!" yelled Tubby and the Lardman ran into my house, like Patrick Moore on speed. As Tubby lumbered past me I yelled, "Five Circles! Five circles of fat round Tubbies neck!" Jim Allister went by on a hobby horse, pulled by a donkey and roared, "I shall not take it lying down, standing up, sitting, or hanging by my heels from a banana tree." "Jim, ain't gonna take it!" said Tommy. "Then, let him eat cake!" I replied. "CAKE!" yelled Tubby Nolan, as he burst out of my house, taking half the gable wall with him.