All Safely Back In The Hen House

Great Balmoral show yesterday kid and not one bull was molested.. thanks mainly to the vice squad who followed Mr Coyle all around the field.
Later that night, the bull groper confided to his friend Joe, "Oh I was tempted Joe, sorely tempted, but praise the Lord I did not succumb."
Mr Coyle then went down to the wine cellar and came back with two vintage bottles of 1959 Mackeson's stout.
"It looks good, tastes good and by golly, it does you good!"
(Thank you Sir Bernard Miles (deceased). The cheque is in the post.)
Tommy my cat and I listened to the Balmoral show wearing Michael Jackson masks and carrying two shoves to clear up the animal filth and defecation which kept oozing from the grill on the radio. After much shouting, yelling and roaring, pushing, shoving, cajoling, bribery and threats,Tommy mopped his brow and said,
"I counted them out and I counted them in. I am happy to report that all MLAs are back on their roosts in the Stormont hen house."
"Did you lock and bar the door," I cried. "We don't want them getting out and running wild through Belfast."
"Don't worry," said Tommy, "you won't see hair or hide of an MLA for four, long years.".
"Four years!" I muttered. "Four long,long years!"
Overcome with extraordinary exuberance I grabbed Tommy and danced none ex tacito to the sound of rain-washed,Welsh slates clattering down the roof.
I may be standing in a hovel, but I'm staring up at the stars!
I helped Steven Nolan out of the back of a bin lorry and said,
"So, it's happened again!"
"JA!" bellowed the Ulster Goering.
"There I was, standing at the corner, trying to get a large Easter egg sideways into my mouth, when I heard an uncouth, probably catholic voice roar.
"Micky, grab that massive wheelie-bin with no house number on it!"
"Next thing I knew I was in the bin lorry, derriere in the air, and my mouth full of fish heads."
"Tut-Tut," I said, "you need a gansy.A gansy with the nuclear symbol on the front and HAZARDOUS WASTE written on the back."
"SORTED!" yelled Tubby, as he sprinted off, looking for a Nuclear, Hazardous Waste gansy with a 59 inch waist.
Shouldn't be too hard to find. Surely someone out there has such a garment!.