Who's Been listening?

Great shows last week kid.
Great shows which kept many directors of News Corp International from leaping out of the windows of skyscrapers. Sources close to News Corp said, old Rupert Murdock was slowly making his way towards an open window when he heard Mr Coyle say,
"If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a barnacle scraper in a marina."
Old Rupert stopped and said, "Now there's a man with more than his share of handicaps. A veteran of rickets. A man who was christened on the whim of a lump of a cuttie. Then in his formative years, the police were mean to him and took away his dog. If that man, above all other men can still dream, then by Ayers Rock I will stand my ground and see this thing through."
Old Rupert staggered back to his throne and yelled. "Bring the ginger minx to me!" Rebekah Brooks was dragged in and thrown at the Master of the Universe's feet.
"Rebekah," said the press baron, "you have been like a daughter to me, but I must throw you to the wolves. I must protect my son James. I will never give up my little Jimmy, do you hear me? Never-Never-NEVER!"
Tommy my cat paced up and down and said, "I wonder did the News of the World hack into my phone?"
"Who would want to listen to the banal babblings of a flea infested feline?" I scoffed.
Tommy coughed and said, "Over the years I have had secret and protracted conversations with-Tubby Nolan."
I looked Tommy up and down and said, "Were you in a-relationship with the oval one?"
"Platonic," said Tommy, "purely platonic. We would go out for dinner, maybe see a show and then go back to Tubby's house for crisps, chocolate and coke. Tubby would put on a little Barry White and we would just sit there, shooting the breeze and laughing at Gerry Anderson."
"You're playing a dangerous game Tommy cat," I warned. Tommy bit his nails and said,
"Do you think our innocent, purely platonic friendship could be-misconstrued?"
"Of course it could!" I yelled. "You must come clean. You must call a press conference."
Which is why you probably saw Tommy on TV, making rambling, veiled references to THAT man---Steven Nolan.