So Young To Die

Great shows last week kid.
Great shows which led to the demise of the News of the World and the reincarnation of faction fights in Tyrone among the bushes. Last Friday night, Gortin City beat Drumquin United by five cracked skulls to four. It was a close game. Both managers agreed that the boys gave 110% and every man was fighting for the jersey. It's good to see the young men out in the fresh air instead of crouched over computers studying the curvaceous, female, anatomical form.
While we all try to get that mental picture out of our mind, here are The Celtic Four, Gerry, Sean, Emma and Janet to dance the Walls of Limerick.
Tommy my cat ran in holding a white handkerchief with his finger and thumb and yelled,
"LOOK! a wee dead ghost!"
Tommy lay the wee ghostie on the table and tried to blow death into it for over half an hour.
I led the sobbing feline away and said,
"It's no good Tommy. The wee ghost is-dead."
"WHY?" yelled Tommy, staring up at the sky. WHY? It was SO young! It had so much haunting to do. Why did God allow the wee ghost to die?"
"God has a reason for everything," I whispered.
"Well, it better be a good one," said Tommy, "for between you and me, people are beginning to ask questions."
There he was just a walking down the street, with a small, Vietnamese,pot-bellied pig at his feet.
Yes! it was Tubby Nolan out walking, Vince, this year's Christmas dinner.
A funny thing about pot-bellied pigs is, unlike turkeys they do vote for Christmas.We have President Nixon to thank for that and the futile Vietnam war. I leaned against a lamp post like George Formby and said,
"Well, if it ain't big me and little me. May one enquire where you two tubbies are going?"
Tubby and the pig scowled and yelled as one,
"We are going to have our portrait painted by blind Pugh, the famous, unknown Belfast piss artist!"
I laughed and said, "It's going to take a lot of vomit yellow to capture you two tubbies on canvas."
"SIC!" yelled Tubby and Vince the pot-bellied pig chased me to Ann Summer's shop and wouldn't go away until I bought Tubby and Vince the porker Micky Mouse boxer shorts.
I can see Vince the pig carrying off the look, but Tubby will just look like mobile wall-paper!