Beware The Bo Weevils!

Great shows last week kid.
When your great shows were on, the streets were deserted except for hoodies, zombies and Sean Coyle look-a-likes. These strange, weird, men walk alone surrounded by a cloud of eerie, ghostly, Gothic silence.
Matt Baggott, the man with the handcuffs and baton, said,
"Like our old friend Tubby Nolan, these strange, walking men are a growing problem."
When asked how the public could help, Matt Baggott shook his pom-poms, twirled his baton like a high school cheer-leader and replied,
"I would ask the public to remain calm and be vigorously, vigilant in spite of vile, vilification."
I looked at Tommy my cat who was reading, "Stars, Bars and Drawers" and said,
"Any gossip in your showbiz magazine Tommy?"
"Just a story about Lady Gaga", said Tommy. "Apparently, the little songbird went out wearing her meat dress and had to run for her life when she met a gang of cannibals out exercising their Rottweilers."
"Now that would only happen in LA," I said. "Sean Coyle often walks the roads late at night with a pound of special mince in his pocket and has never seen hair or hide of Rottweilers or cannibals."
"Mr Coyle is playing with fire," said Tommy. "The hedgerows in Ulster abound with Bo-Weevils who just love special mince. Should Mr Coyle inadvertently take a pregnant Bo-Weevil home with him, his house could be infested with the little rascals. And do you know the worst thing about a Bo-Weevil?" said Tommy.
"Their bite?" I said.
"No", said Tommy.
"Their sting?" I ventured.
"Negative," said Tommy. "The worst thing about a Bo-Weevil is, you never know where they've been all day!"
Tommy and I reformed our old skiffle group, "The Swinging Blue Simmets" and began to sing,
"BO-WEEVIL, BO-WEEVIL
WHERE YOU BEEN ALL DAY
YOUR MOMMA'S BEEN A LOOKING
SHE HASN'T STOPPED A LOOKING
SINCE YOU WENT AWAY.

BO-WEEVIL, BO-WEEVIL
THERE AIN'T NO NEED TO WINCE
YOUR MOMMA WENT AND BOUGHT YOU
SHE REALLY WENT AND BOUGHT YOU
A POUND OF SPECIAL MINCE!
(Tommy will add the tuba solo later)