Advice For Gerry

Deer Gerry, 'Tis I, the Clougher enchantress Rosie Ryan 'ere. When I heard you were running the Knew York marathon my hart swelled with pride and my knees turned too Chivers jelly.
"Gerry Anderson, 26 miles?" yelled my sun Bon Jovi.
"That does knot compute.
"I fear uncle Gerry may sucumb to fatigue and lie down on the road like a dead badger".
"Rubbish!" was my retorter.
"Gerry has ran before, from the law and crowds of angry dancers looking for their money back".
"That was different" yelled Bon Jovi.
"A marathon is 26 miles, that's nearly half way too the moon!".
I lifted my foot and gave Bon Jovi a riser that brought a yell of, "CARAMBA!" from the doubting little gulpin.
Gerry, I am nitting you a pear of running drawers.
Its the least I kan do.
The drawers wool come down to below your knee and I have chosen the colour white.
When the drawers are nitted, I wool embroider them with green shamrocks round the fork and on the backside a likeness of John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
There will be too pockets to hold your fags and mobile fone.
You don't want to be restricted when running, so there wool be ample room round the fork.
Pace yourself Gerry. A marathon is all about-pace.
Don't set off like a blue-arsed fly when you hear the gun.
And liquids are very important. On the weak before the race, drink a bottle of vodka a day. This could be upped to a bottle and a half on the day of the race.
If you require a pee as you run, go ahead, the heavy woollen material wool soak it up like a sponge.
I wool send the drawers up to you by Parcel Force so hang around the house to sign for them.
We are all behind you Gerry. So do your best.
Don't give Bon Jovi the satisfaction of lying down on the road like a dead badger.
Remember the words of the grate Chuck Berry.
"Run, run, Gerry, you got to make it to town
Run, run, Gerry, keep them drawers from falling down"
From your friend and amigo, Rosie Ryan xxx