DOCTOR OR COMEDIAN

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which gave hope to the trapped Chilean miners and doddering 97 year old Matlock McGrinder who is going into hospital to have his vasectomy reversed. When asked why he was going to such extreme lengths at his age
old Matlock leered, drooled and gasped,
"I want to stand beside a NO SMOKING sign in an hospital waiting room,light up a big cigar and yell,
"WHO'S THE DADDY? WHO'S THE DADDY NOW THEN?"
Old Matlock was dragged away for a psychiatric report and a good wash with a scrubbing brush and vast quantities of Lifebuoy soap.
Tommy my cat crawled out of the cutlery drawer. He had been pretending to be a fork with a bent prong. Tommy hitched up his little lavender trousers and said,
"I see Harry Hill is back on TV."
"So what?" I yelled."So what? My world does not revolve around Harry Hill and his bald-headed shenanigans."
"Harry Hill is a qualified doctor," said Tommy."As is Jonathan Miller of Beyond The Fringe fame and Graham Gardner from the rib-tickling trio the Goodies."
WHY?" yelled Tommy,adapting the stance of Lloyd George, "WHY would three qualified doctors turn their backs on the most noble of callings to become-comedians? And another thing," yelled Tommy,"why has no comedian ever become a-DOCTOR?"
"By the Fruit of the loom!" I cried,"you've hit upon a reet conundrum there lad.
It's all one way traffic. Doctor to comedian, but no comedian to doctor. Eeh, it's a reet puzzle lad and no mistake."
"Perhaps 'tis best that way," said Tommy. "Would you like to be lying helpless in a hospital bed and see doctor May McFetridge approach your nether region with a shaving brush and a cut-throat razor?"
Suddenly Jim Rodgers burst in screaming,
"Nigh, Nigh, NIGH! there will be no double jobbing, not on my watch.
ONE MAN, ONE JOB!" screamed Jim.
"ONE WOMAN, NO JOB and that goes double for Caitriona Ruane. We are not GRAND." screamed Jim. "We are a long way from GRAND. We have never been less GRAND. We are NOT GRAND! GRAND, we are NOT!"
So, what does that make Jim Rodgers? Doctor fix-it, or comedian?
Answers on a postcard to, Frank Mitchell, The Cardboard box, outside the gates of UTV.