Wild Heavy Rain But No Ringer For Gerry.

Great show yesterday kid. A great show which caused the usually unflappable Wendy Austin to cry,
"I can't possibly go on after that GREAT show! All I have to talk about is-rain! Gerry's show was full of exciting things like, lost dogs, Jordie Tuft, the strange, weird world of Sean Coyle and then Gerry goes and tops it off with, wood-chip wallpaper!"
The director of Talkback tried to cajole Wendy by promising her a nail to hang her coat on.
"Give me another subject that isn't about rain!" screamed Wendy. "Can I not do half an hour on flags and emblems?" A tearful Wendy sat in the Talkback studio as the seventh caller described the rain as "wild heavy!" In desperation Wendy yelled, "One can't help but wonder if any flags or emblems got wet!"
Tommy my cat and I stood behind the sandbags watching garden furniture, gnomes and inflatable rubber men swept down the street as a result of the "wild heavy" rain.
"It's good for the garden," said Tommy.
"It will keep the dust down," I replied.
"The farmers will be glad to see it," said Tommy.
"And the fishermen," I replied.
"It's wild heavy," said Tommy.
"It is wild heavy," I agreed.
Tommy and I sat staring at each other. Tommy coughed and said, "We have to talk."
After making a roast warthog, peas and diced rice I said, "Lay it on me dude."
Tommy made a little tent out of his hands and said,
"The question on the agenda is, Can Gerald Michael Anderson run the New York marathon???"
I sucked my teeth, put them back in my pocket and said, "In my humble opinion, Gerry is venturing on an impossible mission. Gerry is sailing into deep waters. New York is the Mount Everest of marathons. The big question is, can Gerry do the New York marathon, or will the New York marathon DO for Gerry. In conclusion, I fear Gerry has set himself a task which could prove-fatal!!!"
"I agree!" said Tommy. "We must save Gerry, but without Gerry losing face."
"A RINGER!" I yelled. "We replace Gerry with someone who is a dead ringer for Gerry!"
"Great idea," said Tommy. "However there is a flaw in your plan. Fergal Sharkey couldn't run the New York marathon either!!!"
Sorry kid. I'm afraid you-and you alone, must hit the bricks!