Desperately seeking-floaters.

Great shows last week kid. I suppose simple shepherd, Chuck E. Lavender, best summed up the great shows when he stood on a high, windy hill and proclaimed to the world, "David Cameron, Bobby Davro, Cilla Black, Mortimer and Reeves, Theresa May, Timmy Mallet, Alan Partridge, DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN DAN!, DANA!!!!, My sheep and I are filled with perfuse happy-happiness after listening to great shows. DAN! DAN!.......DAN!"
Tommy my cat, not to be confused with the vulgar pussy from number 27, kicked the tin can further down the road and said, "After many self-inflicted wounds the Magnificent Seven, seeking the Irish Presidency, are still sitting tall in the saddle and desperately seeking-floaters." I opened the window, yanked the hat from a passing policeman, planted some early snowdrops in it and said, "AH! The floater is a wily customer. The floating voter goes to ground during elections. The floater may float for weeks before making his mind up. Floaters need to be handled with great care. Floaters are well aware of their importance during elections. Floaters respond to touch. Gingerly point a floater in the right direction and nine times out of ten, the floater will go off and leave his mark."
"It would seem to me," said Tommy, "that floating voters are a blight on society. The way they go about puffed up with their own self importance." I swung around, stern of visage, broad in the beam and cried,
"And yet, lovely, dainty Dana and Senator Steven Norris, the highly educated leprechaun, are grasping blindly here, there and everywhere for floaters!"
"Well, wrap me in bacon and call me a sausage!" yelled Tommy. "Someone should tell dainty Dana to keep well away from the self important, playing hard-to- get-floater!"
"I will!" I cried. I opened the door, filled my lungs with diesel fumes and roared,
"DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN--DANA!!!!! Beware of the--FLOATER"!!!