Magic Script Writers

Great show yesterday kid. A great show made all the more intriguing when Mr Coyle was heard to whisper in a throaty, husky, Barry White voice,
"Shall I show him Emma?"
And Emma, with a catch in her voice gasped, "NO!"
Tommy my cat and I leaped up from the two crouching Swedish dwarfs we were sitting on and ran around in circles.
"What in the Sam Hill blazes is going on in there?" I yelled.
"Coylers is weaving his magic!" Tommy cried.
"Rubbish!" I roared. "There's no magic left in Mr Coyle's old, bent wand. You need a good wand to weave magic."
"This will be on Wikileaks tonight," said Tommy,"under the heading, Emma says, NO!"
Talking of Wikileaks," I said as I went to the door and gave a polar bear half a pan loaf,"did you see Nigel Dodds still insist that the President is NOT a crook?"
"That dog don't hunt," said Tommy. "Nigel should listen to Seamus Heaney,
"What ever you say, say nothing."
"Tubby Nolan was on Wikileaks," I said. "During his last holiday he floated into North Korean waters and nearly started a third world war. The North Koreans were just ready to yell,
"Geronimo!" and press the red button when they saw Tubby's little periscope and fell about laughing."
"No one can laugh like a North Korean," said Tommy,"which is why the BBC have flown in 100 North Koreans to laugh at,Sketchy and LOL."
"Too little,too late!" I cried. "What the BBC should have done was hire Michael McGimpsey and Edwin Poots as script writers."
"Ah, McGimpsey and Poots," said Tommy. "They wrote for Tommy Cooper and Tony Hancock did they not?"
"Yes," I said, "but only after they were dead."
"A bridge too far," said Tommy. "First said by Phil Coulter when he got writer's block during,BOOM-BANG-A-BANG."
"What is little Phil doing now," I said, "tuning pianos?"
"No," said Tommy,"the little legend is working on an album about the famine. The album contains such smash hits as.
"Eating Grass"
"I'm Starving"
And "Who ate all the pies?"
I fired a double-barrelled shotgun at the middle plaster duck flying up the wall and said,
"If the Prince who turned into a frog, Andrew Lloyd Webber, gets his hands on that he will turn it into a musical."
"He must be stopped at all costs!" yelled Tommy.
"You phone the police and I'll get onto the Taliban."
Thank goodness for the Taliban. They hate anything to do with fun,which begs the question, where were the Taliban when Sketchy and LOL were wrecking havoc all over Ulster?
Answers on a postcard to Frank Mitchell under the bundle of old clothes outside the gates of UTV.
P.S. The Emma, Sean exchange was over an email to John Bennet!
A likely story!