It's Discrimination Against Cats!

Great shows last week kid. Great shows which brought a modicum of hope to an old codger who has been waiting 55 years for the return of his homing pigeons.
Every morning, the old man slowly clambers onto to the roof and scans the skies. Finally, in a fit of desperation he yells, "Bert, Davy, Eileen, Frankie, Joe, Dermot and wee Julie, come home, your daddy is waiting for you!"
Greater love than that, no man has!
Tommy my cat, slipped into size zero blue overalls and said,
"Did you see the fantastic light show from the Titanic Quarter on Saturday night?"
"I did," I replied, "and I was shocked and stunned at the audacity of the Titanic quarter cabal. It was-lights which led to the sinking of the Titanic."
"How so?" said Tommy.
"Listen carefully," I said,"I will only say this once. On the terrible night the Titanic ran into the iceberg, she was not alone. There were many ships in the area who could have come to her aid. It was the early days of radio communication. SOS or Mayday had not been invented. Many ships received the garbled message for help. The captains of these ships scanned the horizon and said, "Well, it can't be that big ship with all the lights blazing. They must be having a party." "IT was-lights," I yelled, "that sank the Titanic. Do we need to be reminded of THAT by an unthinking quango, who won't have to pay the electricity bill?"
I glanced at Tommy slyly and said, "How proud the dogs in Northern Ireland must be to be the first to be compulsory micro chipped. It just goes to show how much people love their dogs."
"Double standards again!" yelled Tommy. "Cats get lost too, but we don't make a big fuss out of it, we just phone for a taxi. Discrimination!" cried Tommy. "No one gives a rat's ass if a cat goes missing for a few days, but when it's a dog, the tears start falling. Search parties are send out and weeping women make urgent appeals on the Gerry Anderson show."
"Dogs are SO lovable," I enthused. "And the tricks they can do!. Give a paw, roll over and act dead, fetch the paper AND your bedroom slippers, play ball, guard the house and sit beside you on the sofa watching Coronation Street. Cats are too aloof. Dogs give. Dogs give love. All you have given me is a half eaten mouse on the front doorstep."
"It's not the gift, it's the thought that counts!" roared Tommy, as he rushed outside and gave next door's little Shih Tzu a powerful riser up the tail bone. Ah, little Tommy is so like Thomas the tank engine, so easy to wind up!